"This is it. The adventure is ending, but it is also beginning. I write from seat 21F somewhere over the gulf of Mexico. Central America has changed me and created memories that will stick with me forever. I can't forget the tears in Flor de Maria or Argelia's eyes, the poor people on the street, the man at the dump, Juan Carlos, the people in Las Vueltas, Quebraditas, and every person I have met. I can't remember them all, but I can try to live for what they stood for.
Now, we are on the last plane off from Seattle. I feel as if I need to write something profound, but I really don't know how to do that. I don't know anything else to say except this is just the beginning. The change is just starting. Only God knows how it will affect me. I love everyone on this plane, seeing Dad and Callie in the airport. So now is the time to act. One quote, not necesarily the most important, but one/two "Apathy is the biggest sin of the society" and "the poverty of Latin America is Unbearable."
Thankful
- The Group
- Opening my eyes
- Safety
- Support Systems
- Central America"
When I returned from Central America I was definitely changed. I had been living in a world of groupthink and of the extremes being shoved into my senses all the time with almost no time to let it sink in. In that way, I know that there are some things that never sunk in. I honestly did not have time to really comprehend what I saw and what it meant for my life. But what I did come away from it all holding was the need to be intentional with my life. I needed to be intentional with my relationships. People are so important. Each one holds a story that is more unique and more special than anyone could imagine. I have met people and heard stories that no one in my culture would ever hear. I had spent 20 days living in a town where I was literally the second white person to ever enter and the previous had been 10 years prior. No one from our culture had ever heard a story of Quebraditas. I am literally the story sharer of the town (though you can find it on google earth). I was really pleased to see myself holding some amazing conversations with people during my first few days back. Holding them with a depth and focus that I had never known before because it was not important. I feel that is still important to me. I hate the majority of the conversations I hold with customers at Starbucks because they are so often fake and trite. that doesn't completely negate the fun of pointless interactions, but it is really hard to recognize the humanity of someone when the conversation topic is consistently about the weather.
One year away, I feel that I am doing a decent job of living up to my goals of simplicity and in harmony with the world God created. I do not own a car and instead commute around on a bike I found in the back of a shed at camp and was told to "get rid of." With the exception of the current gashes in my hands due to a little spill, this has been a wonderful experience. I still get everywhere I need to go in good time, but have not spent a cent on gas. I have lived basically every day in 1 of 2 pairs of chordoroy pants. We have a compost and have been recycling more than ever. So for a bunch of dudes living a post-college lifestyle, I feel that we are doing well. I would not say that this life is the most amazingly simple or that the environment is totally stoked about the way that I have been nursing it back to life, but it is OK.
This last year has been an interesting one from the political standpoint. Barak Obama and Mauricio Funes were elected. Does this mean that everything is going to be great and equitable for everyone, NO. I sadly feel that I have not been as active in creating changes in my society. That is one area where I want to do more. I do have time, but instead am more apt to spend it watching something stupid on TV instead of trying to utilize it for a good purpose. I know that my mom has written more letters to our senators than I have (since I've written zero). I get angry, but that is worthless without action.
An interesting thing about these experiences is that a year out, I am still searching for the best way to tell people about my life. It is strange working at a place where I am the most liberal, most traveled, most politically opinionated person. It is really had to talk about what matters to me with someone who loves Starbucks for Starbucks. When I got back from El Slavador in January, everyone was more interested in my tan than my stories. When I went to Louisville to see if/where God was sending me with YAV, the question was "did you see any horseraces?" How do you explain to people that you just don't care about that stuff? How do you say what matters in your life in a sentence so that when they move on, maybe, just maybe, something poinent will stick in their minds? I don't know how to do that. Now that I am going to Peru, how do I give my little speech about where I am going, what I am doing, and what I don't know without wanting to punch myself in the jaw for saying the same thing AGAIN? I guess this goes back to what I was saying about intentionality, the US culture is not good about it. I know this may seem ironic that I am saying this in a blog which may or may not be read by people. I will never really know. I hate twitter and facebook status because it is just telling people trite pieces of your life that they don't really care about but just are curious. There are no real interactions.
Now that I have written a ton, I probably should wrap it up. This year of being back in the states has been good. I loved my time at Camp Spalding because I was with people. I did forget about the issues that were so important to me when I returned, but it was a summer where it was the relationships that really mattered. I have enjoyed living in Spokane because I have been able to keep up on the relationships with the amazing CASPers. I have enjoyed working (that is something to be infinitely thankful for these days). I had a great trip to El Salvador/Honduras (for more, read those posts, just scroll down). I am so excited to go to Peru. I love my family and friends. I am still going to be on my bike (though it has some bent brake handles at the moment). So, CASP 2008 changed me and I feel that I am a better person for it (that is an understatement). But when I was on that plane from Seattle to Spokane, sipping a beer (funny enough, the best of the trip), I was afraid that a year from then I was going to have forgotten everything that was important to me. That hasn't happened. It has changed. I think that I am a little more realistic about it all, but still have so much more that I can do. Peru is just a step in this process as will be going to work tonight. My life keeps going and each step has shaped me into who I am and who I will become, but the experiences from Central America have become and will continue to be some of the strongest reminders of how to life my life.
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